To light the darkness

Sunday April 14th, 2024

11:42a

The Moody Blues

Days of Futures Past

Dream Records

1967

Well this is definitely a different album than the one I listed to the other day. It has an orchestral, "fantasia" thing going on. It reminds me of a scene in any Disney movie where the princess is doing some chore with the animals. It's uplifting and cheery, but with a slight question of ominence. Ominence is not a word apparently, however I hope you know I mean "of an ominous nature". It should be word.

Today I'm working on a project that I'm not going to talk about until I'm all the way finished, but I hope that it works out. I'm going to work for a bit and listen and hope that I find hope.

1.04p

I think it's my third time listening to side II and I really like it. There are two songs that I definitely recognize. The Afternoon: Forever afternoon (Tuesday?) and The Night: Nights in white satin. I feel like these songs are seriously underrated. Nights in white satin is so dramatic and you can feel the yearning the vocals. There was another instrumental song on this side that made me feel like I was watching The Dark Crystal. And The Dark Crystal is one of my favorite movies of all time. But there is this thematic tension that builds throughout the whole album only to finish with Nights in white satin. Which I think is an awesome way to make an album. To build up energy in every song and then crying in the last song so beautifully that you feel the release.

I think I'm ready for a different album.

Next in line:

Foghat

Energized

Bearsville Records

1974

3:55p

I finished Foghat a while ago. Mostly, it made me think about Guitar Hero. They must have a song on that game. It was okay. It just didn't move me. I think I remember it sounding like blues and rock and roll. I put on the next album:

Deep Purple

Who Do We Think We Are

Warner Bros.

1973

This must be what the original "hard rock" must have sounded like. It made me think though, you know classic rock and roll must have exploded because it was like a new way of writing music emerging. So, everyone had a way of making something because it was so easy to make. Hear me out, I'm not saying all classic rock is basic and simple and requires no skill to play... what I'm saying is playing it at its most basic level requires almost no skill. It's the ones who took that basic formula, spread it out, mixed the colors and gave it a heartbeat. But rock and roll at its core is a simple formula. And as we discovered new genres and sub-genres we found ways of taking that simple formula and evolving it into a new generation. I feel like saying that makes "genre" and "generation" two relational terms. Because a new genre usually comes from the next generation. Let me know if that makes any sense...

I got to just keep moving. Keep working. I can't sit still for a moment or I will lock myself in my mind and throw the damn key away.

I feel weighed down by this unnerving sadness. I feel it sitting on my lap like an anvil on fern. If I had a heart, it would be on the floor. Dripping from my toes like molasses. Slow and thick, but putrid and rotten. Neglected and abused until it became worthless and inferior. That's how my heart should be, what it should look and feel like.

But it's not. Although I feel hollow and empty... it's no use. There is no hope. I have squandered away my life chasing invisible dreams. There is this tiny voice that tells me to live out of spite. Because everyone wants me dead. Everyone wants me gone. So, I'm gonna live. I am going to live every damn day with the freedom and wonder that I should. Because I deserve to. And if me dying is what it takes for everyone to be happy. Then that's on them. That's their own bullshit they have to deal with because my life shouldn't determine anyone else's happiness. If you're miserable in your world, my death is not going to save you. You just want something to be pitied for.

I'm rich. I'm rich with life and love and music and art. I'm not hanging in the shadows because I am dead. I'm in the shadow because my light is too bright. I have windows for eyes and I see the world. I may be the only one left who does. And losing me, the night would lose its brightest light. Because I am the moon who reflects the sun to brighten the night. I shine through the darkness.

6:23p

Well this new process I'm trying didn't go great, but it was a learning experience. It's all relatively new so there is definitely a learning curve I have to concur.

I put on a new album.

Deep Purple

Machine Head

Warner Bros. Records

1972

I, for some reason channeled (a long time ago) that Deep Purple was my printmaking professor's favorite band. I really channeled some good thoughts today. I felt my dad with me. I felt his love in a strange way. I could explain, but then I'd give you the code to the inner workings of my mind, and trust me, you don't want it. seriously.

But maybe that was the whole point of this album project, was to keep my dad around. To keep him around. And it's working.

I think I like that as a title for what I'm doing: The Album Project

but Deep Purple. This album I'm feeling more metal. Like the hard rock progressed into metal. But its just teetering like its going back and forth.

I went to go to Scrap earlier and I forgot they close at 5p on Sundays, I got there at 5:10p. I needed to get some fabric for another project I'm working on. You see, I have two loves and two specialties: Printmaking and Sewing. I just finish building a new workspace for paper ripping and preparing/cutting fabrics. It's supposed to be a dry work area. I put a cutting mat on top and that is resting on my flat file that is sitting on a hand built table. My boss, who is very good at carpentry helped me build it. I stained it "antique walnut" which is my favorite stain and it looks classy. I did mess up the measurements, I think I might have mentioned it last time. But the cabinet still sits on it sturdily so alls wells I guess.

8:31p

I posted a picture of the cabinet below.

Been fighting the last hour or so. Trying to fight them. Trying to not think. I think I'm going to do yoga, get a shower and then practice guitar. Hopefully I do all those things. Goodnite.