Memory Correction

What if I was wrong and no one cared to mention?

What if I was right and they thought I only wanted attention?

I'm so great,

psychiatrist have to make me take pills just to suffocate it.

A grading curve for the less deserving.

So, I'll suffer this curse

and keep on learning.

I usually don't like to brag

and I'm not one to flex

but there's nothing else.

No other reason why

I have to die every morning

when I open my eyes.

Spending years trying to determine

if I was abused

or just a terrible person.

Recalling every moment my sanity was questioned

and then stuffed back inside my inner dimension

Finally, lifting the veil from over my eyes

confirming ever fear

I would lie to get through

to the next island of truth

Tearing our my hair and bones beneath my skin

desperately searching for the demons within

the ones telling me I'm never enough,

that I should give up

its better on the other side

It'll all be over once you die

But I'm cunning now

and I see right through

they entice you with peace

to get you to follow through

then they can say I only had hate in my heart

they take all my progress and they tear it apart

Become the victim of my selfish choice

that the sympathy is with them

from losing their toy

So its up to me to crusade for the truth

that all the moments they lied was in fact, abuse

I've spent years reliving them all

crying catatonically staring at the wall

flipping all the switches

resetting all the breakers

making sure I understand

that I am not a faker

but an exquisite creature

full of grace and intentions

who is capable of memory correction.

Acrylic painting I did during the painting class I run at Moonlight Center of Art. You should come some time- Every sunday 2-4pm.