Just one. once. more.

I pound my head against the wall

Like I used to do when I was a child

With each pound harder and deeper I fall

Because my heart is torn from side to side

An impasse, an impossible situation

Paints my eyes red like umbers

Where there is no solution

Just the delusion that the latter was the worser

Knowing that maybe if I manipulate the rules

I can find my way back to the truth

Or at least to the decision

Where I can know the ending

Where is my heart?

Trampled and ripped apart

I thought my soul was pure gold

But I’m the loser who thought she could change the world

I pound my head against the wall

One, two, three, four

Hoping to bring back the thoughts that lull.

Just. once. more.

Monday June 3rd, 2024