I Will Never Forget

Though it's been two decades to the day

I cannot forget the way you treated me

I cannot forget the way you abused my heart

til it was barely beating

and I know now you want to be friends

but when I talk to you I know that its the end

Though I've healed and grown

and moved on from the abuse

I don't want to be reminded of me and you

Maybe I see where I went wrong

But when I do, I only see the wrong choice

was choosing you

to give my innocence

choosing to love you unconditionally

and taking you back when you turned your back

and again when you did it again and again

I cannot forget all the times I tried

but because my innocence was tied

I couldn't distinguish your lies

or the gaslighting every time my intuition

was fighting its way for me to see clearly

what you were doing.

I revel in the day I finally broke Free

from the insufferable torture that was you and me

But I will not forget the break that you let

tear our story into broken shards and shreds

as I sacrificed my dignity by willing to let you

destroy my over and over again

and then you have the nerve to say today

that I was "always out of the loop"

Well, let me tell you something, dear.

You will never ever come near me

Because the moat around my heart

is looped with beasts and dragons

Ones I've spent decades collecting.

Maybe you try now

and you believe your worthy.

But I know whats real behind the curtain

I may have been left out of the circle of lies

you and your friends tried to hide

So, tell me why I would ever let you back inside?

You let us die and getting away from you is what saved me.

I don't want you in my life, you gave away that opportunity.

There is nothing you can do to sway

It's seared in my heart to this very day.

The pain is set

and I will never forget.

-Amanda Lvnar 2025

Acrylic painting I did during the painting class I teach. April 2025.