Give it to you

11:18a

Typical late start today. I got up and cleaned and putzed around for a while, but I'm finally ready to get started. I already prepped my image I'm going to carve for my next lino cut print. The last plate turned out well, but my printing process needs some serious practice, unfortunately it's expensive to practice with good paper.

Right now I'm just listening to the radio, I might put an album on when I get tired of it, but right now I like the... variety? of the radio. I'm about to trace my image- which is one of my drawings- onto the lino and then I'm going to carve it out. If I can get this done quickly, I can maybe even print today. Lets see how it goes.

11:34a

This is why I'm listening to the radio... The Smiths are playing and I haven't listened in so long. And they are one of my favorites. Also they played Cath before that and that song always hits me hard.

I finished tracing my image which didn't take long at all. So now I'm going to carve

12:10p

Feeling some feelings. I didn't carve yet, I was just doin some more detailed drawing on the lino. and got some real feelings about some repressed memories about things that happened a long time ago. I got the idea that she destroyed it. My journal.

1:26p

Ate some lunch and have been carving since.... I was dilusional to think I was going to print today. I'll be lucky if I get paper ripped. I seriously underestimated how long it takes to carve this plate because its so small... I thought it would be relatively quick.

remuneration- payment for a service, loss or expense.

2:45p

Finished carving my plate. My social worker came by for my monthly visit, in case you didn't know I'm insane, I am and I need a whole crew of people to keep me from sprialling out into another episode. The plate looks good. Definitely don't have time to print today, but I will get paper ripped and such.

Remuneration... if I think about it poetically I think of blood. Like the blood losed or expensed for being in love. Which for some reason doesn't compute to me right now but I know I've understood it perfectly before ... "a place to spill my blood, is all it ever was" -11/17 Kevin Devine.

Blood as remuneration,

blood as the price for falling in love

Blood as the red I saw that day in your face

I made you blush and fall all over again

Blood red as the heat in the summertime

When love runs ramped amidst the sunshine

Blood for the secrets shared in clandestine sheets

the ones you swore you lips would never again leave

Blood for the promises that never should be made

because they only become debts you need to repay

Blood for the stance I made

when I touched your scar on your stage

blood from the scar of the window I put my fist through

My insanity in that day still haunts my memory too

Blood for my dog and how I tortured his limbs

and blood for every moment I truly miss him.

Blood for every day that I live despite

Despite the constant desire to end my life

4:30p

Ive ripped my paper, I'm essetially done. I think I'm going to do some more cleaning... I need to vaccuum and I'm gonna do some yoga tonight. I might even dare to do the more difficult one 😛

6:44p

Did difficult yoga. I was sweating profusely. Gonna get a shower 😅

Tuesday July 2nd

9:35a

Was about to get started when I realized the space is a mess. And I need to take some time to organize before I pull the inks out... because its PRINTING DAY!

The word of the day is:

glade- an opening surround by woods

I love this word and it reminds me of the song "Rabbit Hole" by Eisley when she sings

"and I recall the moment that the coppice became a golded glade" I have this album on vinyl because Eisley is one of my favorite bands. And just to throw it in here.... Sherri Dupree of Eisley is one of my favorite contemporary artists. She does pen and ink drawing and if you ever looked them up, I'm sure you can tell the how much I am inspired by her.

So, I think for my first album this morning I'm going to jump to the upper deck of my vinyl collection and put something that I bought on...

Eisley

I'm Only Dreaming

2017

Equal Vision Records

gonna get to it.

10:38a

It must be me. I must not be doing something right. This print looks blurry. fuzzy in places.

11:07a

We're getting somewhere, I got two good prints and a method (hopefully🤞). On my second listen to Eisley. I love this album. Its good. Its real good. I'm mad at myself for not really being into it when it first came out. Its funny because she just sang "I just wasn't in the right place" and I think thats why I couldn't get into it.

11:59p

Printings going alright. Had a little lunch with the animals on the balcony. Put a new album on:

Rod Stewart

A Night on the Town

1976

Warner Bros.

I probably mentioned it when we listened to Rod Stewart earlier in our journey, but my mom loves Rod Stewart.

This first track is very recognizable.

12:45p

I've listened to both sides and I did recognize the song "The First Cut is the Deepest" which I didn't know Sheryl Crow's version was a cover of. Rod Stewert's picture on the cover reminds me of my friend? I don't know if I'd call him that. Everytime we play together he makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world. He plays the most ridiculous riffs and he knows I can't keep up with that stuff, he doesn't know how to play with me. So, after last time I decided not to play with him anymore. It just makes me feel discouraged, which can't be a good thing. <none of this is what I planned to write about. I wanted to say that printing is going the best its gone since I started printing here in The Backspace.

1:50p

We are cruisin'. I don't know exactly how many I've printed so far, but I know that most of them are turning out. I was hesitant to do the grey paper I ripped because there are so many cream paper prints, but since they are turning out so good and I'm already here, why not??

Rod Stewart

Every Picture Tells A Story

Mercury

I forgot I put it on a while ago. RS is very listenable. I guess I would call him pop- rock and roll. Because hes got to have the "roll" with it, hes more than just pop rock.

5:59p

I totally fell off. I finished cleaning up a while ago and have just been putzing around. I'm about to do yoga and I saw my blog still up. lol. Its Yin today. Haven't done Yin in a long time...