Daemati Dream

Some day February 12th or 13th or 14th, 2024

now listening: James Gang- Live in Concert

I realized today that I am lonely. I realized it last night actually. I was reading a book and the romance in it felt so warm that it made me long for it myself. I sat and thought about how long it had been since I've been in a relationship and it's about exactly three years. I couldn't believe how much time had passed, it felt so close yet so far away at the same time. It made me wonder how much time before I would be in another relationship? It feels like that territory is no where in reach. No prospects. No one of interest. And I will be honest with you, I really don't dwell on relationship status. In fact, the intriguing thing about this sequence of thoughts is that usually I pride myself on being single. I revel in it, in the freedom. Because despite all that's been said, I am not going to force myself to couple with someone who is just anyone. ...there is filth in that statement... I don't know how else to say that.

I am really liking this album. Very bluesy with a classic rock and roll tempo.

And today, I really felt lonely. Like being in my apartment with no one to talk to, no one to call, no one to play with. I've been reading books the last few weeks. It's definitely guilty pleasure reading, but I feel like it's been filling a void that I have been desperately trying to fill. There is certainly a lot of romance, but the main part that has me pining for more is the trait that the main characters can talk to each other telepathically. Because they are linked by a magical bond that tethers them together. As much as people want to rag on these particular books, there is something special about the bond between the two main characters that is eerily familiar in my hauntings. It reminds of a particular time when I felt that I was able to communicate telepathically. And as silly as that sounds, I believed I could, and I believe I did. The communication wasn't as clear and effortless as the bond that is portrayed in the book, but it was a bond.

I am on the fifth book and I just had to take a break. I just needed a break from the pages to get myself together in the real world. The void that the books were filling were that relationship, that closeness with someone. I have no one. I am close with no one. 

I am hearing some Neil Young.

Side B.

First song I actually recognize. "Walk Away" I like the drums. 

-did some things-

Put on another album. Elton John- Tumbleweed Connection. We all know Elton John is great, but I haven't heard most of these songs so far and they do not disappoint. I have to admit I'm not particularly listening to the lyrics. But the guitar and of course piano is satisfying. More blues than I've ever noticed in Elton Johns music. Okay. So admittedly, I haven't really listened to Elton John now that I think about it. Just hits on the radio. I mean, I know I like those songs. I did watch the movie. But this album and the James Gang both albums I would definitely listen to again. Gladly. 

Took my meds.

Side B.

Reminds me of James Taylor with the acoustic guitar and fingerpicking folk sound.

Monday February 19th, 2024

Today I'm spinning Accept Chicken Shack- Blue Horizon

Off the top it's giving me serious Austin Powers vibes. -A child raised on television.- Not that it's important, but I'm a big Austin Powers fan. lol I love those movies. Anywho. Today I'm painting. I know, I know it's probably been at least a year since I've painted, (watercolors in my sketch book do not count) No, I have painted since I've been here. Nevermind. but it's still been a minute. I'm actually just going to touch up some paintings I've been working on over the years. Just so that they are finished and able to be freed from my possession if the opportunity presents itself.

More blues. My Dad must have liked the bluesy rock and roll.

Mira is so close to my monitor watching the screen that half of it is blocked. 😑

Also, if I haven't mentioned it, This month marks one year of me being in my apartment. And I still love it. I love being here. I love every room with my only complaint being that I can't be here enough. Okay, I'm listening... I'm going to paint for a while. I'll check in when something good comes to mind....

Its been approximately 20 minutes

This is a disaster. Mira is obsessed with the painting area. I'm retouching a spot on one of my best pieces that I painted when I was a much better painter and I should have started with a less important painting. ahhh.

And the music. Side 2 is over now and overall I liked the album. I was getting a bluegrass vibe towards the end. I can't say the album got me on a soul level, but I would listen again.

I put on another album and only vaguely looked at the cover because the artist and title of the album was not overtly obvious and I just put it on. And immediately I know it's recognizable. So now I'm looking... Just by looking at the dudes I put it together. It's The Rolling Stones. And now I feel embarrassed because I thought it was The Beatles.

The Rolling Stones- Between the Buttons.

I'm on the third song and I don't feel that embarrassed anymore because they sound a lot like The Beatles. And in my defense, I am losing my memory. I'm not joking. I notice it all the time how I'm not as sharp as I use to be.

In fact, the other day I misplaced a large sum of cash I had in my underwear drawer. I had no recollection of putting it somewhere else. I thought I remembered thinking that I should put it somewhere more hidden. But I couldn't remember doing it. Days later I found it accidentally after having my locks on my apartment changed because I thought someone broke in 🤦🏽‍♀️ Anyway I once heard or read in some interview that The Rolling Stones considered themselves to be the "dark Beatles".

back to painting...

maybe 20 minutes later.

okay. So this was actually the best idea ever because trying match the color and style that I used to paint is awakening my old techniques and habits. This particular painting.... I don't know if I ever titled it, but it's something about "The Bird and the Kodama". But I really like working on it. I wish I wasn't spread so thin with all the different art forms that I do. Because I really do like to paint and I wish I had time to get to it. not complaining. because I sleep a lot and if I slept less then I would have more time for other things. Also, there is more going on in my life, but I am not going to complain. I am blessed and lucky and happy to be here.

Side 2 is coming up

Just made lunch. I made a burrito, homemade. Yes, I am a very good cook. That is my problem. Anyway, playing side 2 again, since I was mostly in the kitchen when it was on. After lunch I was very tempted to read a chapter of my book. I am on my fifth book of the series and of the year. I am so addicted to reading that I'm now forcing myself to partake in other activities besides reading since I've barely done a thing since the first book. So, I am going back to my scheduled reading time, an hour before bed. Made a second cup of coffee since the first one was so good 😋

Okay, it's 3:45p and I am done painting for the day. One thing I can say is that it's nice to have several paintings to work on when you're oil painting because its really easy to muck one up by overworking it.

About The Stones, it's probably the 3rd time I've listened to side 2 because I've been too busy to mind switching the record or flipping it over. I have too much paint on me to risk the damage. But what I was going to say, is that there have been a few albums that are similar genre to this album that I've listened to since starting this project. However, what The Stones have, that I suppose sets them apart from their rivals is that they have hooks. Which I guess you can call "Pop". I can tell this is an early album despite not looking it up. I can tell that they haven't sunk into their "dark" persona.

Okay so I looked it up. This is their fifth album. Maybe not so early. But it is old. from 1967. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about?

Which is probably true.

I think I'm done listening to vinyl for today. lol I think I might read for a little while....

Here is a little sketch I did, its what I think Rhysand looks like.