...but in the gold of morning dulls the blade

Finally home from work, in sweat pants and the music on.

Side A

Today's LP is Jim Croce -Don't Mess Around with Jim- the first song is the title track and well known song of his. Couple of songs in I am getting a strong James Taylor Vibe. I knew always that I loved "Operator". I remember the first time I heard it. I was in my apartment in Duluth and my mom was visiting me and I played her Elliott Smith and she played Operator.

As I'm listening to side A it is very reminiscent of Operator. I don't know if that song is on this album. and...

Side B

Operator.

This song hits deep. And in a time when my thoughts were not entirely intact, it felt worse.

In those times, I would make up the most elaborate reasons for why things are the way they are, going through, counting the evidence, checking and double-checking until it made sense. It always did... only to not make sense at all. Like "well, if that was the truth, why is this that way?" It was a very confusing time. And I have an entire theory about it, of which I will say no more.

Damn. this is hitting hard. "A Long Time Ago", I never hear that song before. And I feel every line.

I am going to make dinner meow. Roasted Brussel sprouts and ???? I don't know yet. But I'm tracking my -not just calories- but entire nutrition and there is 1gram of fat for every 10grams of protein which is incredible. Anyway, I'll be back...

Cooking...

Listening to my headphones now. And this song came on Bouquet- Southpaw and it wasn't until the end of the song that I realized how much I was vibing with it. It's definitely got this screamo thing going on, but it reminded me of Faceplant- which if you've never read me writing about them- they are !!! so good. Anyway, after re-listening to the song I catch the line "time doesn't heal a thing, it just dulls the blade" uhhh so true. Which I feel we can tie back to in "A Long Time Ago" by Jim Croce. He's just saying all that one line- stretched out into a whole song without saying it. Whoa. Which is the higher art- an entire song in one line, or one line in an entire song? That is a real good question to have in a group session.

But you know, Jim doesn't really say it until the last line of the song where is leaves you on hangin on with "...but in the gold of mornin" which is a repetition of the line earlier in the song where he compares the gold of morning to her eyes, I feel like he implies that she's no longer there in the morning which is why the beginning of the song he is recollecting the memories opening with "A long time ago". And the pain of her not being there after recollecting the memories is the 'dullness' the blade attains is due to remembering the memory time and time again because every time that you get to the end of the memory and realize they aren't there, more time has gone buy making it more painful than before. Because you realize you're still waiting. And everyone knows that a cut from a dull knife hurts more than a sharp one because it rips and tears the skin as it penetrates, it takes longer to heal and leaves more of a scar. Unlike a sharp knife that makes a small, clean cut in comparison.