Always running out of time

I want to write to you tonight. I want to so bad, but I'm so incredibly tired. I spent most of the day on this drawing. Don't know what it means. Don't know why I drew it. It was just an idea I had. If people read this blog (which they don't) (thank god) then maybe they would comment and give me some ideas of what this could possibly be about?

I'm listening to the radio on my dad's stereo system that I hooked up and you can make fun of me, but I find this strange sort of comfort listening to the radio. Like I'm connected with all the other people listening to the radio at the same time. Its as if it's some kind of sun salutaion. Have I listened to only 6 songs in the past two hours and half have repeated themselves? yes. But there is something about the connection that I feel that I just can't get from Spotify. It's like homemade mashed pototoes. It reminds of being a teenager and feeling that solace that I used to feel when I listed to Love Line as I fell asleep. Or waited for my favorite songs to come on so I could write down the lyrics. And I don't want to get all "generational" on you, but that's something that this next generation will never understand.

You want to know something weird? When I read some of my old writings and blog posts from my old blog, sometimes usually at first, they never make any sense. Mostly because I was ridiculously high when I wrote them, but when I read them later, like now they're almost prolific and I don't know how I didn't understand them. I know when I was writing them, I was only writing the things that first came into my mind, it didn't matter if it made sense, I was writing with a sort of freedom, a freedom of judgement of my own self. I think I still write like that and I still make sense... eventually. But I arrive there differently.

On another note, my kitten, Mira is insane. She will not stop drinking my paint water! smh. It's only watercolor so its not toxic, and yes I take it from her, but she keeps going back! It's funny because I used to have this thought when I would think something insane, I would say to myself "Amanda, did you drink the paint water again?" And that was a little way I would poke fun at myself. If you paint, you understand. Or maybe you're smarter than me and never made that mistake ... oO

Its 11:11pm. Make a wish! I am so tired and I have to work tomorrow. Whoever you are, reading my words... thank you for spending time with me.

Goodnight.

Source image: https://www.deviantart.com/tessageniets/art/Front-view-lion-skull-825736736