All I Ever Needed 5-24-24

I watch the expiration dates

and the calendar pages

flip day after day

and soon it’s another year

that you’re not here

and then it’s another decade

I’ve waited for a chance

to finish

what we started

cause ever since

I’ve been broken hearted

forlorned from the lover

that made me see

there is more to the world

than you and me.

Made me believe

that I could dream

and I could be

someone who inspires

in a trapeze

of moments

that still doesn’t seem.

Is it Possible

that he could even exist?

someone so perfectly matched for me?

He sees me

and that’s all I ever needed.

That having a dream

and following it

Could mean inspiration and innovations

for now, and future generations

of peace and how to achieve it.

He’s ebullient and excited for every moment we have together

Like there is no tomorrow

Only today

and so, we mean it

When we say

there is no other way

To spend eternity

than to live each moment

with the certainty

and intention

that this is the real thing

But This is the real life

With suffering and strife

as I dream of that world

Staring at a wall

Reminiscing an existence

that never existed at all.

-Amanda Lvnar 2024

A drawing from around 2013