Framed

Thursday June 13th, 2024

Jethro Tull

Thick as a Brick

Wasn't expecting to post today. But I got a lot done already and so I had free time to do stuff. So I think I might do some more prepping for a lino plate I carved earlier today. I was going to print some, but I just looked at the time

2:43pm

and I'm planning on going on a hike between 4-5p. So I think I just might rip some paper. I do like this Jethro Tull. My ears have been tired of the same music. I even listened to early 2000's chick rock I think they called it on Spotify. So like Kelly Clarkson, Ashlee Simpson and Hillary Duff and so on. So, it feels nice to listen to something different. Their songs weren't as childish as I thought they were going to be. It was a day, okay?

But it had me thinking... what on earth was I doing in 2004 when they were popular? I definitely wasn't listening to them back then. And not because I was pretentious... I just never really got into like Avril Levine. I think they're all beautiful and I'm a cheerleader for everyone to live their dreams... but I didn't think I was into punk already by then... but I guess I was. I know I loved Fall Out Boy from the first time I heard them, which admittedly was on the radio- Sugar, We're Going Down.

We didn't have digital cable when I was a kid and I think thats why I didn't know about that stuff. I aslo worked and pretty much always had a job. I also did a lot of sewing when I was in high school and I painted my own t-shirts and stuff. But I missed out on all of millenial teen culture. I didn't watch Leguna Beach or Jersey Shore. Not that I'm mad about it... I just want to know what the hell was I doing when all this was going on?

I know I loved Brand New and Taking Back Sunday, but it was never because I saw them live or saw them on TV. Well I think thats how I found Taking Back Sunday... I think? But it was because other people introduced me to those bands. By either making me mix CDs or just telling about them in school. I know I started listening to Coheed because of the commercial that came on TV. Same type of commercial as the Lumineers... but that was years later.

Alright, I'm going to rip some paper for a while...

3:23p

That really took no time at all. But I just got a thought... it said "I felt disrespected". This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I just get a "thought" that is thought provoking... I ask it questions. which I know is exactly what I'm not supposed to do... i think.

I don't know. I never wanted to disrespect anyone. I feel thats a fear of mine, that I'm rude an inconsiderate

Sunday June 16th 12:40p

Welp. Here we are. I think I'm going to get to work today. I want to try printing this plate that I carved the other day, and you know i have all the paper ripped and ready to go and a whole day to do it. I know I'm starting a little late, but I was being lazy this Sunday morning, drinking coffee and chattting with my mom on the balcony. I'm gonna put an album on and get started.

Steely Dan

Katy Lied

ABC Records

1975

1:27p

Printed the first few prints. As always its not going as well as expected. I thought if I made more simple plate, that I could start slowly and progress to more difficult projects. Far away they look good? Maybe I have too high of expectations? And should just accept that printing from home, by hand is never going to be as high quality as a in a studio with a real press? Should I really lower my standards?

It reminds me of the conversation that...

just had a moment were I flashed back... to that line. "Its me youre talking to" god. It kills me everytime. I'll talk about the conversatoin later. I'm going to get back to printing.

...its special.

1:45p

Finally printed a good one after 2 test paper and on the 7th good paper. I used my pin press on the last two instead of the baren. lets hope more go good.

Listened to the album a couple of times now. Didn't recognize any songs, but it definitly sounds like Steely Dan. It isn't bad. Nothing really stands out to me as this being bad. There is a nice guitar solo playing as we speak. Bad Sneakers is the song. It sounds polished and complex. Neat. Steely Dan sounds neat.

took a little break.

2.35p.

I finished up the gold paper and now I am moving to the grey paper. Put another album on:

John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band

::aggravated::

Was talking to my mom about my sister who looks like death. She is as skinny as can be, her skin is purple and white. Her face is pale. Obviously, shes on drugs. And its really bad, but what fucking pisses me off is that people will call and have me put away at the drop of a hat, but my sister who threatens to hurt and kill people. Is drunk 24/7 and completely not functioning, passing out kneeling with her face in the bed, has been narcaned 3 times in the last month... is just left... to basically die. I don't get it. I don't get why people want me put away all the time. I've been hospitalized 14 times. 14 fucking times. At least thats when I stopped counting. I don't even know anymore. But now I'm fine. Do I want to kill myself? Every fucking day. But I'm just holding on.

Sunday Jun 23rd 11:06a

I never got to finish commenteing on the previous album Plastic Ono Band. and I had some things to say about it. Like John Lennon kinda screams on it, which is... awesome. I think I'm going to play it again so I can tell you what I think about it. Right now I just have the radio on, I'm listening to TMD which I have been for the last week. I used to listen to that station all the time, but for a while there the music just sucked. Everything started to feel so... what I like to call... derived. Which just means everything sounds like its trying to sound like somthing else thats trying to sound like something else and so on... But maybe its because I haven't listened it a while everything sounds new.

I really like the Kacey Musgraves song Cardinal. I've been listening to her at work this last week.

Shit I missed 11:11. I was looking at 11:10 and I got distracted.

I guess I'm on a diet. I want to lose 90 pounds in 10 months. Which sounds doable actually. I want to get back to my weight I was before I started taking medicine. I want to prove that I can do it. But my medicine is fighting me the entire way. Like, for example, when I had a good day like yesterday I got up in the middle of the night and ate trail mix 😑.

But I was half asleep so I feel like I didn't have any control. Any way since i've started like a 5 days ago, I'm already down 7lbs. Which i probalby just water weight, but its a start.

I remember what I wanted to say about this album. I'll wait for the song to come on though...

Today in the Back Space:

I think I'm going to do some spiffy work. (I don't know what else to call it) But basically just collect all the prints I've been working on and try to erase any rogue likes and sign and number them. Think I'm gonna get to it...

11:39a

Firstly, what I wanted to say about the song I was waiting for "Love" is that he says "love is wanting to be loved". I think+++thats an interesting thing to say because most people say stuff like "love without expecting anything in return" or somthing like that. This statement demands reciprocation. Which I feel is the right. While I do think you should love without

conditions, I think that love is only real when it is reciprocated. It should be a constant flow between two people. Maybe the distance is far the flow has to follow, but it will flow. Because if doesn't then it can be processed and returned. This song just made me feel validated.

Also, the next song, "Well Well Well" is definitely the inspiration for a the Hozier song "To Be Alone". "Well Well Well" is also the song John screams on. Its kind of crazy. I'm sure people screamed before him, but it feels prolific.

Drinking cold black coffee.

I made the mistake of stacking my prints that were't completely dry. So, the backs of all my Mira "Hellcat" prints have little marks on the backs of them. So, I'm using a razor blade to scrape away the little marks. Its definitely not idea, its taking a long time and the paper is slightly lighter when you scrape it becaues its the gold paper, white paper doesn't do that. Anway, lesson learned.

Oh yeah, word of the day:

polemic- a strong written or spoken attack.

I like this word. m

Next Album:

Uriah Heep

Look At Yourself

Mercury

1:09p

Uriah Heep sounds like space metal.

I finished spiffying the Mira "Hellcat" prints and it looks like I have 15 for the edition. Not bad. 3 of them I'm keeping that are mostly okay, but just need a little little something. And then 11 are going to my recycle pile. I'm going to try to reuse the paper by making my own handmade paper....someday. But considering this was my first print, I think I did okay. Are they perfect? no. But I think I'm just going to have to live with this as my first try.

I'm going to do the "Interwoven" prints now. They are significantly less work because they are still hanging dry and the backs of them are perfectly clean. And just incase they aren't completely dry (even though they've been hanging for a week) I am going to put news print between them. I'll post a pic of the "interwoven" prints. It was the print I did last week with a much more simple image and smaller. Plus, I used some of my learning process to make sure that I didn't make the same mistakes. I did these prints with the left over paper from previous projects so I have some on the gold paper and some on the grey.

1:46p

Lots on my mind. Something about "I framed you" and a lot of twisted thoughts that I was framed. For what exactly? I'm not too sure. Can I get out of it? I have no idea. Like people know what they did to me and so they're scared of me now. I'm dangerous. I don't even want to think about this. I don't want to delve into that thought because it wont get me anywhere... good. I wish I could just smoke some weed.

I think I might start on a new plate.

I feel like my mind is caught in a spiderweb. I'm jerking and thrashing from side to side and it feels like it can't move from the threads.

3:04p

just got lost in youtube rabbit hole of music videos. I think I want to play guitar for a little while.

4:54p

Thinking way too much. Think I figured out how I was "framed". It finally came to me... I was trying to play the song "invisible" by ashlee simpson. I really like singing that chorus. And it dawned on me... how I was framed. I was made to look like I didn't care until everyone else did. But you and I both know thats not how it happened, exactly. But the point is, I finally realized how I was framed, and why everyone is making fun of me. Which has been driving me crazy for years now. All I have to do is keep doing me. Fuck what they say.